Captain Hook Been Downsized
Upon the poop deck it was plain to perceive,
The sea was just a wetter version of the sky,
Below he bellowed commands to his crew,
And they moved with much purpose and skill.
Within the sail rigging and about the ship,
He was in his element plotting revenge,
Thinking he would have forever in Neverland,
To study his trusty dog-eared maps,
And hatch schemes against Peter Pan.
But he was forced to retire to Arizona,
When he failed to read the fine print,
On his piracy contract it spelled his doom,
One small clerical error had done him in.
He failed to file every other thousand years,
And was replaced with his dopey first mate,
On his wall a dueling sword gathers dust,
For poker games replaced his old reprisals.
He lives in a western ranch house now,
His new rocky seas are mountain ranges,
With succulent cacti scattered in-between,
Being landlocked he has lost his sea legs.
For the only swaying was the gait of his horse,
Muddy cowhands replaced salty sailors,
And being stationary was his only course.
His one concession was buried treasure,
Of Spanish doubloons and jeweled goblets,
I wouldn’t cross him and steal his plunder,
The question if Hook will kill is a certain bet.
Not with a sword or by walking a plank,
For he has gotten good with a six shooter,
And it won’t be loaded with blanks.
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